Mark Gordon Fee - First Loved Ministries

New to me, perhaps not to you

2011-02-02T09:52:00.003-05:00

On the morning of January 10, I went to work to do my job and at the end of the day, I left without a job. At almost 53 years old (Feb. 18), this was my first experience of losing a job. Wow! So many emotions - shock, fear, confusion. And then I had to go home and tell my wife Robin. It was very difficult to walk through the same emotions with her, but it was even more difficult to experience her intense anger over the whole situation. But through the love and support of a number of friends, the Lord has helped us to process and to pray through this trying experience.

Now, 3 weeks later, we both firmly believe that God allowed this to happen for his purposes to be fulfilled in our lives and especially in our call to bless the whole church of God through First Loved Ministries (FLM). Over the past 3 years, I have served as an associate pastor at Bethany Church. I absolutely loved my job because I had the unique privilege to serve the Lord and his people there, out of my strengths and passion. What a joy. Consequently, having to be let go due to a budget crisis, has been extremely difficult and deeply saddening.

On the other hand, because of my job at Bethany, I had done very little with FLM. But now, as best as we can discern at this time, we are believing that the Lord has removed me from my position at Bethany so that I can once again devote my entire energy and focus to serving the Lord's people through the various teachings and trainings offered by FLM. At the moment, God is bringing together many gifted people to help me with getting FLM back on line and developing it into a much more effective vehicle to serve His people. Please pray with us that the Lord would provide necessary resources and people to complete this revitalization of FLM.

It's great to be back on line. Blessings to you all. Mark

When Under Great Pressure

2009-02-25T20:32:00.009-05:00

Over the past month, I had the opportunity to preach a 3 week series by that title. (You can watch them on our church website, http://www.bethanychurch.com/media/sermonarchive.cfm) Many of the thoughts are from session 5 or 6 (depending on the version you have) in the First Loved to Loved Experience workbook. The difference is that in the sermon series, I had more time to explore and dwell on the key ideas that the apostle Paul gives us for, not just surviving great pressure, but thriving in our walk with Jesus because of it. How?

Paul said that, when we are weak, then we are strong because it's when we are weak that Christ's power rests on us and reaches full measure in us (2Cor 12:9-10). Without the weakness that pressures of various kinds produce, we have no need to rely on God and thereby experience his presence, his power and love.

One scholar truly grasped this truth when he said, "Paul teaches that God's way of exhibiting power is altogether different from human ways. People try to overcome their weaknesses. God is satisfied to use weaknesses for his own special purposes. God's means of working, rightly understood, is not by making people stronger, but weaker and weaker, until the divine power alone is seen in them" and I would add, experienced by them.

So may your heart be strengthened and encouraged by the Father's words of love for you today: "I know you are under great pressure, far beyond your ability to endure so that despair even of life. Indeed, in your heart you feel as though you have been sentenced to death. But it's in times like these when you cannot rely on yourself that you learn to rely on me, your God, who raises the dead" (2Cor. 1:8-9).

Journal Entry, Jan. 4, 2009

2009-02-04T08:06:00.009-05:00

Mark,

I am the God of peace. . . and I am:

Equipping you with everything good for doing my will
Working in you what is pleasing to me through my son JC.
(Heb. 13:21-22; Phil 1:6; 2:13)

Father,
What good thing are you equipping me with?

-A wise view of time! Warfare, missional, future, opportunistic
-A wise use of time! Invester, putting TTT(time, talent, treasure)in what is eternal, pleases the Spirit, harvest of eternal life.
-New resolve to focus on people and prayer
-Doing good: Rom. 2:7,10; 13:4; Gal. 6:7-10

What are you working in me?

-Truly loving unconditionally, I am so quick to withdraw and withhold.
-Consistency
-Obedience without question
-Not fearing evaluation or criticism

Journal Entry, Jan. 3, 2009

2009-02-04T08:00:00.002-05:00

Mark,

Come to me, Yahweh, who is love to be loved.
Listen, listen, listen to me and eat what is good

Listen as I remind you of:

-Who I AM
-Who you are to me
-What I have done, am doing and will do in and through your life

Love Text: Listen, that your soul may delight in the richest of fair!

Rain never fails, nor does His Word

2007-07-09T13:55:00.003-05:00

Suddenly, my office got so dark that I had to turn my light on. The crazy thing is that it was 10:00 AM. The sky had been darkened by the typical summer storm clouds that suddenly roll in, drop their refreshing load of rain and then just as suddenly disappear with the sun shining again and the streets hot and steamy and the air humid and sticky.
Today, instead of being annoyed by the little impositions that a sudden down pour creates – rushing to close windows, bringing in animals and clothes so they don’t get soaked, etc., I stopped and just stared out the window, watching, listening, smelling, and feeling the watery wind blow on my face. As I did, the Lord reminded me of his promise in Isaiah 55:10-11.
“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
I had committed this text to memory about 10 years ago just so that when it rained it would remind me of the power of his word. But today it was also a special touch of his love. Over the weekend, I officiated a wedding. As usual, I spent a lot of time preparing only to present something quite different than I had planned. What surprised me most was how many different love texts I ended up speaking to the couple. When the wedding was over, I was a bit discouraged by how scattered I perceived myself to be and by the less than stellar talk I perceived I gave. I didn’t realize just how discouraged I was until I heard his voice speaking these words to my soul.
His promise was so comforting and reassuring. I had spoken a lot of his words of love to the couple which also went out to the audience. Regardless of anything else I said, I could be sure that his Word, like the rain, would have certain impact.
Lord, I lift up all those who heard your words during the ceremony. I pray that they would experience their life-giving power and that there souls would be drawn to you to experience more.
Lord, and for those who take time to listen to your words of love today, I pray that they too would find them refreshing, empowering and life-giving even as the rain to a thirsty planet.
I love you Lord. Thank you for your encouragement today.

Love Text: Dt. 33:12

2007-04-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

I had a good friend stop by the other day and ask me if I had ever seen this text before - Dt. 33:12 "About Benjamin he said, Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders." I said yes I had, but I hadn't seen it in a while. I had been originally drawn to it because it was Moses' blessing to the tribe of Benjamin which is the name of our youngest and fifth child. So today I am listening to these words from the Lord's heart to mine and praying that you, the reader, and my son Benjamin would enjoy and embrace being the "beloved of the Lord." About you Mark I say, Oh my beloved, my beloved, the beloved of the Lord, rest secure in Me for I shield you all day long. You are the one I love so rest, rest between my shoulders." Father, I am overwhelmed by your love and the affectionate name by which you call me. To be "your beloved" is so inexpressably wonderful, a priceless gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for reminding me that you are always with me, always shielding me against the enemies attacks so that my faith does not fail. Lord, remembering who I am to you and who you are on my behalf, I will indeed rest secure between your shoulders. I love you Lord.

God-sighting

2007-03-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

Lately, the Lord has really demonstrated his love for me in some very practical ways. On my way home from Costa Rica, I had to stop in a line to pay an airport tax. For some reason I put my wallet in an open, small pouch on the outside of my bag instead of back in the zipper pocket of my carry-on. After I handed my bag over to be loaded, the young man behind the ticket agent, alerted the agent to my wallet that was just sitting there in the open. He could have so easily missed it or stolen it. Either way I would have lost my wallet which would have been a hassle in so many ways. I was so grateful.

Then, at the Houston airport, I was looking for a place to sit and eat lunch while I waited an hour for my connection. I ended up not wanting to eat in the food court so that I could eat dinner with Robin when I arrived at home. So I went to my gate and found a little shop serving fruit drinks. After I purchased it, I noticed that Boston was not the designated city on the marquis at my gate. So I went to the monitors to see what had happened. I realized that I had misread a five for a six. Then my eyes noticed in big red letters on the monitor - Local time. 12:30. I didn't realize that the time had changed so I thought it was 11:30. I could have been at the food court and missed my flight. Again, I was so grateful.

Yesterday, I took our '93 Altima to the Nissan dealership to have the wiper blade motor fixed. I also mentioned that there were a few other quirky things and that I would like to have those checked as well. A couple of hours later, I received a call from the dealership saying that they condemned the car, that they wouldn't touch it so as not to be liable, and recommended that I not drive it off the lot because that' s how dangerous of condition the mechanic believed it to be in. So, Robin and I went to the dealership to retrieve the junk that was in the car. I made a few calls to some friends who knew how to get cars from an auction. I told the Lord that I would be willing to do all that monkey business but that he had to help us not pick out a bad car. But then I told him how much I wish I didn't have to go through all that hassle and how I would love for Nissan to have a cheap used car we could buy there. Well, after we payed for the diagnostic, the service agent said that she believed that one of the technicians was selling his Maxima for $2000.00. We looked at the car, heard about all the things he had replaced, and bought it. The only thing it needed was new tires. We had just bought new tires for the '93 Altima in January. They were the same size so he said that he would change them for us. We will have the car tonight. Yeah God!!!!!

"Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap and yet I your heavenly Father, feed them. ARE YOU NOT MUCH MORE VALUABLE THAN THEY!" Thank you Father for your loving care and provision. You are awesome!

Growing Pains

2007-03-27T10:37:00.000-05:00

Last night was my weekly team meeting/home group. These people are my friends, my teammates, and my accountability group. Last night, I found myself in the hot seat with my wife. Starting this ministry has caused a lot of change, upheaval and adjustments. I needed a little "sober thinking" about how all this has affected my family and Robin. Hard but good. Keep us in prayer as we continue to work out all these changes. And especially pray for Robin who has had to weather the most change.

My Aching Heart

2007-03-22T11:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, one of my children stopped me in the hallway to ask some questions. That led to us retreating to their room to talk. Eventually I was sitting on the floor next to them, holding them while they cried in my arms. So much internal growing pains. My heart just ached as I listened and found I had no words to say that could help their situation. I am desperate for the Lord to breakthrough into their heart with some hope. By the end of our time, my child drew the conclusion that the only sure thing at this time was to pursue God because at least that has lasting significance and God is a sure foundation on which to build a life, whatever that might look like in the future. Wow. I was amazed at their logic. My child asked if we could start meeting to build a foundation in God. How awesome. Please pray for my child and our conversations about the Lord.

"Mark, my son, if you can feel such an ache over your child's condition, how much more do I, your heavenly Father, ache over their struggle. I will prove myself faithful on their behalf and yours. Never forget how much more deeply my compassion flows for you both. I love them and I love you Mark. Trust Me!"

Father, thank you so much for your love and assurance. I love you Lord.

I'm Back!

2007-03-21T13:34:00.000-05:00

Hello All. These past several months have been wild and crazy. Just a quick review. In January, Robin and I spent two weeks in Grand Rapids preparing for our oldest son's wedding. The wedding was the 27th and was a wonderful experience. My extended family were awesome and we enjoyed welcoming our new daughter and her family into ours as well. FLM had one weekend experience at First Baptist in Springfield, Ma. with pastor Bob Smith. On Sunday morning, a number of people who had experienced the weekend spoke up at the beginning of the service pleading with the pastor to let them share their experiences. Our hearts were overwhelmed by their testimonies.

The first weekend of February was 3 days at Vision New England's Congress Conference in Boston. We had a meager little booth in the exhibit hall but many people stopped to listen to the CD; often times they bought it on the spot, and then would let us pray for them and share about the ministry. A number of people said that experienceing us at the booth, my workshop and the CD was worth the whole price of admission (200.00)!

The next weekend I was in Jacksonville, Florida at the Beaches Vineyard. I spoke at both of their Sunday AM services. The response was overwhelmingly positive. One gentlemen in his 50's who had been doing ministry for 28 years told me the next day that his experience of church and all that he did afterward because of church was the best day of his entire Christian experience. I was blown away. We are presently working out the details for me to return quarterly over the next year to implement the materials slowly.
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The next weekend I was at the Southside Vineyard in Grand Rapids, MI. doing the weekend experience for 22 of their leaders. Again, God was so faithful and amazing.

As soon as I returned home on Monday, I was instantly engaged in a week of making the DVD. What an amazing time. So many wonderful people helped in so many ways to make it a success. And by God's amazing grace, I completed all six teachings in the 30 minute limit!

That Friday the FLM team was off to West Haven, CT. to do another FLTL Experience. The next weekend I was in Portland, OR. at the Montavilla Baptist Church. I was home one day and then 8 days in Costa Rica.

This past weekend I was supposed to be away again but a snow storm cancelled it. I was really glad. I needed the brake. This weekend I am at an Advent Church in Haverhill, Ma.

As you can see, things have been really busy and really fun the past 2 months. Please pray that God would continue to fill the calendar and bless the ministry. Also, pray that I get better at doing this blog thing. My website is supposed to be up for trial by next Monday. I so need the Lord help me with keeping up with blogging and other forms of communication.

Thank you all for your prayers and interest. The Lord richly bless you. Mark

The Fruit of First Loved Ministries

2006-12-14T11:49:00.000-05:00

Testimonies like these are the joy of sharing the "First Loved to Love" message. Enjoy!

Dear Mr. Fee (Mark),

As you know I was personally affected by your recent conference at our church. I feel that I now better understand what my gift of teaching is for, and how it serves God's purpose of building up His Kingdom of living stones and releases people to faith and love. I feel a greater sense of release and faith and joy and authority. I think I felt like I had to serve the teaching gift, but now realize the gift is just a tool in God's hand. The point is love!!! The point is love and always has been.

I wanted to let you know that (a co-leader) and I loved your measuring stick talk and I gave my own version of it this week for the ladies Bible Study. I handed out measuring sticks for folks to write on and break. It was wonderful to hear the sound of cracking wood! We related it not only to standards as being wives and mothers and Christians but specifically to the Christmas Holiday demands. It was timely and powerful. I have received good feedback. I gave the teaching, similar to your own with my own personal testimonies and favorite verses thrown in (oh and I gave you proper credit - smile) and then I guided them in a time of confession for the idolatry and pride as they wrote on the sticks and then I had your list of personalized verses waiting for them as an exchange for the broken stick. Then we gave them time to ask the Lord to tell them what He thought of them, and invited them to search the verses for one that particularly spoke to them. Trying to exchange the opinion of the standards for what God says about us... letting Him define our worth.

Thanks for sharing this great teaching, truth and excercise with us. I'm going to keep it in my back pocket to do again as the Lord directs.

As I was reading Romans I came across the verse: "And God demonstrates His love for us in this, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." but, as I read it I sensed the Lord speaking it to me...
"(Beloved), I demonstrated, I showed my love for you in this... while you were yet a sinner, while you were at your worse, hating me, despising and rejecting me and my ways... while you were my enemy, I died for you. I gave up my life... for you."

It was so powerful, and I shared it with the women as the back drop of the measuring stick talk.

On a practical note, I wanted to let you know that I got more and more out of your teachings as you went along. They seemed to get better and better.

Have a great Christmas,
(Grateful Participant)

Do You Love Jesus?

2006-12-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

I expect your answer is a resounding "yes!" So let your heart be strengthened and encouraged by these words of love from the Father's heart to yours: "Dear one, because you love my son Jesus, I love you and Jesus also loves you and he will show himself to you. . . I love you and Jesus and I have come to you to make our home with you. . . So know that I, your Father in heaven, myself, love you because you love Jesus and believe that he came from me." (Jn. 14:21,23,16:27).

Lord, thank you so much for all the love and encouragement I received from your people yesterday. Thank you so much for encouraging me and loving me through them. Thank you for their delight to see me, for their hugs and smiles and kind words. "Mark, if they, how much more am I excited for you and for what I have commissioned you to do. I am so pleased with what you are doing and the way you are doing it. I love your heart son. Stay close to me and I will direct your paths. I love you son."

What's New With Me

2006-10-27T09:26:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. I have had a number of wonderful trips and teaching experiences this month. I have been to Michigan twice, once for a week and another for a weekend.
The first trip I was able to speak at the church my son Joshua attends - the Southside Vineyard where Daryl Underwood is the senior pastor. I had so much fun playing and singing on the worship team with my son. God touched many hearts through the brief opportunity to share about First Loved. Here are a few comments from two of their leaders who sent me very encouraging emails: "Mark, It was wonderful getting to spend time with you at lunch last Sunday. I believe that the message God has given to you is very powerful, especially in this area. I'm excited about the possibility of having you work with the leadership of Southside Vineyard." "Mark, I am the guy who MC'd at Southside in Grand Rapids last Sunday, read Matt. 7:9-11 and demonstrated the back-cracking hug. I wanted to write a quick note to let you know that your message and the ministry that followed were an answer to prayer."
The second trip was to the Lakeshore Vineyard where I got to preach and invite them to return Dec 1-3 for the First Loved Seminar. Here is an email I received this week from someone attending the Sunday AM service. "It was great listening to you Sunday. It is a long story but your words from the Father for Margaret from 2nd service really touched my heart. Margaret suffers from a disease called Neurofibromatosis (NF), it is a rare disease and the disease which doctors were concerned my youngest daughter Abby might have. Ultimately Abby was fine, but I actually met Margaret and developed a friendship through the support group fundraising efforts. It was this disease and the fear of it that brought me back to the Lord after falling away for many years. She really needed to hear those words that the Lord spoke through you!"

I also spoke at a marriage retreat the second weekend in October. What an awesome experience. I led worship, taught a little of First Loved to Love and Getting Along in the Family of God. What a powerful time we had. During the love text session, Peter Webb and I spoke a text into a man and then continued to get more words of encouragement for him. We found out afterward that our words were incredibly prophetic and accurate. Yeah God. One of the leaders emailed me later with this word of encouragement: "I just wanted to say thank you for this past weekend. It really gave my wife and I a push in the right direction. We went home and put it to work in our family and was excited with the results. I look forward to seeing the Lord move in many lives. If there is any way Tina and I can be of assistance please let us know. We really feel led to help you out in anyway we can. We would love to go through training or home group or whatever you suggest."

Finally, a team of 10 of us are teaching First Loved to Love over a 7 week period at the Wilmington Baptist Church for a group of their leaders. We do about 10-15 minutes of worship, I teach for about 40 minutes and then we are in small groups for about an hour. We are very encouraged to see hearts softening, responding and sharing love. Several people attended the weekend event we did last July. Some of them have continued to journal, memorize and be more intentional about loving others. I have been so encouraged to see the noticeable changes in some of these folks.

So things are happening slowly but surely. My greatest challenge has been living in the tension between trust and responsibility. Sometimes trust feels irresponsible and being responsible feels like a lack of trust. Crazy. But God is so good and such a faithful teacher. Thank you for all your love and prayers. Mark

Why Wait?

2006-09-22T08:06:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Claire sent me these words. "Mark, I had a wonderful time in prayer today. It really hit me this morning how much faith it takes to wait more so than act and move. Something so powerful and creative happens in the waiting - wings are grown and shaped for beauty and purpose all to glorify God. It' about fullness, timing, perfect timing."

Father, thank you so much for Claire's powerful and profound statement. Thank you for reminding me through her of the value and necessity of waiting. "Something powerful and creative happens." Yes Lord. It is so true. Give me the grace again today to accept where I am in the process of development and your timing, your perfect timing. I feel like I am standing on the edge of the nest ready to soar but you know when I should jump. I will trust you Lord.

So mark, embrace my words of love from my heart to yours son: "call this to mind, (think, ponder, and meditate on this), and you will have hope. Because of my great (abounding, measureless) love for you, you will not be consumed (by all that presses against you). My compassions, my mercies never fail. They are new every morning. So great is my faithfulness toward you son. Mark, remind yourself again and again that I, "I am," am your portion, therefore wait for me. I am good to you mark, you whose hope is in me, to you who seeks my face" (lam. 3:21-25).

God's ATM?

2006-09-21T06:45:00.000-05:00

Matthew 17:24-27 (TNIV)

After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma temple tax came to Peter and asked, "Doesn't your teacher pay the temple tax?"

"Yes, he does," he replied. When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. "What do you think, Simon?" he asked. "From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes—from their own children or from others?" "From others," Peter answered.

"Then the children are exempt," Jesus said to him. 27 "But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours."

There are benefits, privileges and rights to being a son or daughter of the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Remember who you are and whose you are! But until he comes, like Jesus, we honor the present authorities. And if your short on cash, expect him to provide but not always by the first fish you catch:-)!

From his heart to yours: "Remember beloved, I your God am able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, you will have all that you need, to abound in every good work" (2Cor. 9:8 TNIV). Have a great day. Mark

"CASTING ANXIETY"

2006-09-20T08:27:00.000-05:00

The following is an excerpt from my journal to bless you and to give you an example of how I interacted with the Lord through it.

1Pt. 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Thank you Father for that wonderful reminder from Peter that you care for me and that you want to receive all my anxiety from me. Thank you for loving me through his words of encouragement.

Mark, now hear those words from my heart to yours: Mark, please cast all your anxiety on ME because I care for you. Don't gather up all your concerns before you so that they weigh down your heart. I will help you discern what you are responsible for today and after that, give the rest of your concerns to me. For you are precious and honored in my sight and I love you so let me care for you today (Is. 43:4). Remember, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Mt. 6:34). Instead, seek first my kingdom and I promise you that all these things will be given to you as well(Mt. 6:33). If I take care of the birds and the grass, HOW MUCH MORE will I take care of you! (Mt. 6:26,30).

Father, I do feel overwhelmed by the many unfinished aspects of starting this ministry. Thank you for reminding me of your heart for me, your promise to me, and how valuable I am to you. I will trust you Lord. You're the BEST!

Teaching at Wilmington Baptist

2006-09-19T19:55:00.000-05:00

What a blast our First Loved team had at the Baptist church in Wilmington, Ma.